The Name Behind the News
October 11, 2020
Edition 09
Happy Nine Ten Eleven! Edition number 9, that is. When I started this thing, I never thought I’d have close to 1,000 subscribers after only two and a half months. And guess what? I was right! But, after my three new followers this week I have finally hit the 40-person mark! The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Morning Brew all had 40 subscribers at one point too. Looks like I’m on my way. Let’s dive in.
Weekly Stats (and more!)
# of days until the US Election --> 23, ↓ 7 days since last week
Time remaining on the NYC “Climate Clock” --> 7 years, 81 days
Days until Halloween --> 20
Record of NFL teams who play their home games in the state of New Jersey --> 0-10… yes, I’m just assuming they’ll both lose again today
College football games played yesterday --> 27, ↓ 5 since last week
Unlike the outlook on the Giants’ season, Richmond’s weather is looking mostly sunny this week. And unlike me in high school, Richmond’s temperature this week is going to be pretty cool.
Week in Review
The theme of the past week is “versus.” Harris vs. Pence, Lebron vs. Jimmy, and Scott vs. crippling self doubt. All the fun ones. Let’s review.
Harris vs. Pence: They debated in a much more civilized way than Joey B. and Donny T. I got on a call with Pence after the debate and asked if he thought it was an issue that he and Kamala dodged questions and skirted major issues. He replied, “That’s an interesting thought, but we should really focus on Biden’s proposed tax plan.” Right you are, Mike.
Lakers vs. Heat: This series is more interesting than anyone thought. My big takeaway is that Jimmy Butler and Jamie Foxx look remarkably similar.
Freshmen vs. Hurricane Delta: It’s rush week on the East Coast and young college women are looking for an in at Hurricane Delta. Hurricane Δ is looking to make a quick splash through small talk, jazz fingers, and perhaps a good door stack. To the freshmen, don’t worry too much about making an amazing first impression. If you say something stupid, I’m sure it’ll eventually… blow over.
SPONSORED BY EAR BUDS™
The clearest sound money can buy.
We’re living in a golden age of music. From Bieber to Eilish, music has never been more popular. Unfortunately, the pandemic has limited our ability to attend concerts and performances. That’s why we’re introducing you to Ear Buds™!
Traditional wired headphones are clunky, get tangled in your pockets, and lack sound clarity. Air Pods are tiny and can easily fall out and get lost. Ear Buds solve all of these problems. With your monthly subscription, you get two personal Ear Buds, each of whom are trained a capella singers that know tens of songs for you to choose from. Like Alexa or Siri, each Ear Bud responds to his or her individual name. To find out what that is, just say, “Hey Ear Bud, what do I call you?”
Until October 31st, we’re offering 50% off on our Premium Subscription which allows a choice of instruments for your Ear Buds to play. Subscribe today and choose harmonica, triangle, or tambourine!
Your Favorite Scott
When you subscribed, you creatively responded to “Who is Your Favorite Scott,” so for this section I’ll turn to the best writers: the readers! Nah, I’m just kidding. If you were better writers than I am, then you’d be the one with a weekly newsletter. But I’ll give you all a shot anyway.
The Sweetest
Several of you said “You,” “U R,” “Scott Levine, of course,” or some variation thereof. This was, sadly, a minority of the responses. Thanks to those who pretend to like me.
Bobby S. from Richmond writes, “Ellie Scott,” his dog! Photo below, and there are more here!
The Famous-est
Sean R. from DC says, “Scott Hansen.” I assume he means Scott Hanson, the NFL Redzone host, though perhaps he really loves the 65 year old retired stock car driver from Wisconsin.
Taylor R. from DC highlights, “Scott Keyes,” who I believe is the founder of Scott’s Cheap Flights.
Bridget M. from Madison, WI says, “Scott Avett.” Honestly, I like his brothers better.
The Cleverest
Michael J. from Boston writes, “Michael.” If you’re an Office fan, I hope that gets a rise out of you. And that’s what she said.
Jason L. from Hauula, HI responded with, “ch Tape.” Okay, okay.
Lauren Scott from Charlottesville selfishly writes, “Me.” Interestingly enough, I had the same response.
Sam K. from New York says, “Free.” Yes, yes. Very clever.
My personal favorite response comes from Cass P. of Richmond. She says, “Sean Connery.” Her wit makes up for the missed T.
The Hurtful-est
Maddy G. from DC bluntly states, “Don’t have one - Unimpressed by all.”
Brianna M. from Richmond says, “Toilet Paper.” One day, I hope to be better than toilet paper.
Casey M. from Richmond explains, “Any other Scott besides you.” This one made me cry.
Luana P. from DC succinctly states, “Not this one.” Ouch.
And finally, Kim L., my mother, says, “Hmmm.”
Spot the Differences
Image 01
Image 02
Hint: How many stars does Boo-Boo have on his hat?
Comics, Described
Artists get all the credit for a good comic strip, but I think it’s the writing that really makes or breaks them. To really focus on the writing, I’ve removed those pesky cartoons and will simply explain the comic strip. I think this will create a much more enjoyable experience for the reader.
9 to 5 by Harley Schwadron for September 05, 2020
We have a single panel cartoon today. A disheveled man sits against a palm tree as the sun beats down on him. He’s sitting on an island with a life raft off to the side. In the background we see a half-sunken airplane. Somehow, the man has cell service and is talking to his buddy on the phone. He explains, “But the good news is that I’ve gone six days without booze or a cigarette.” Ha! Leave it to comedy to find optimism in life-threatening situations.
I hope I’ve made some progress in becoming your favorite Scott. Then again, Ellie Scott is pretty damn cute.
If you think your friends would get a kick out of Scott’s Edition, please share my website and have them subscribe. If you’re interested in checking out past Editions, you can do so here.
If you have ideas or want to be involved in creating content for the newsletter, just reply to this email and let me know.
Let me know if you’d like to unsubscribe.
I’m Scott, and this is Scott’s Edition. Have a great start to the week!
Comments